I don’t usually do this, (not so) subtle parody is usually my forté, but I couldn’t think of any way to do it with this one, maybe it’s too late, or maybe its too funny by itself, I don’t know…I thought I’d interject some sarcastic commentry into it instead. So without further ado, Mr Paul “Coops” Cooper would you come on down, the price is right…

The Government’s latest idea to provide a homage to George Orwell

I think invoking George Orwell is a new form of Godwin’s law, invoke Orwellian analogies and you lose.

is to scan motorists fingerprints whenever they get stopped”

For speeding or other traffic offenses, aka breaking the law

– apparently motorists are a bit too cagey when stopped.

Well, hmmm, they have just been caught breaking the law. The article linked does actually point out the circumstances in which this will be used, the case where people aren’t convincing enough, the alternative in this case is that they arrest you and take you to the police station…

The problem with all of these kind of big brother plans that our Government(s) have introduced is that they are hardly ever symmetrical – it’s always about them checking on us and never the other way round. I’d be quite happy for this to be introduced if I could buy one of those scanners and get it hooked up to a database to confirm the identity of the officers when I get stopped – make sure they are who they say they are

Yes, because there’s lots of bogus traffic police roaming Britain’s highways pulling people over to give them a ticket…

don’t have any outstanding IPCC investigations

why does that matter? They haven’t done anything wrong by pulling you over for breaking the law. Why should they then stand trial? It’s alright for you to break the law if the policeman who catches you has done something wrong? The ticket you receive stops being valid, or if, when you refuse and they arrest you, are you going to say “Haahaa, no, I’m not listening to you”? No, you just want to be an asshole.

or a history of harassing motorists, etc.”

Umm, yeah, see, they’re traffic police. Their job, by definition, is harassing motorists.

Maybe it’s just because I’m from a terrorist country and we’re used to being stopped by police, even when we’ve done nothing wrong, that I don’t actually fear them. I know there are dodgy police, but I don’t see how this gives them any more power than they already have. They’ve stopped you for breaking the law. They have your registration details, and from that they can get your name and address. If they don’t believe you, they can arrest you and take you to the police station to find out if you’re not telling the truth.

As they say in Belfast, gurn up.