Posts Tagged ‘wtf’

Ireland, Blasphemy €25.000 and other rules

Thursday, October 15th, 2009

I was rather shocked as I read this article about a law passing the Dáil which fines blasphemy with 25.000 Euro. If I didn’t know better I’d say this couldn’t happen in an European country, but astonishingly such things happen within the EU. Now I’m a bit afraid being Ireland as an atheist.

Freshly draught Guinness (~5€)

Freshly draught Guinness (~5€)

So yes, I moved to Dublin, Ireland to study at the DCU :) If you want to visit me, have lunch or a pint, don’t hesitate to ring me :) I haven’t seen so much of Ireland myself so far, but I’ve been into bloody cold Irish Sea…

Also, The Pirate Bay is blocked by Eircom, the largest ISP in Ireland. They use an IP based filter, not only  a DNS based one. So they actually interfere with my communication which I assumed to be unconstitutional. But luckily, I have a tunnel set up which gives me free access to the world.

Cliff in Howth near Dublin

Cliff in Howth near Dublin

Besides the panic about the swine flu, another weird thing is Irish bureaucracy. My impression is that the people don’t really think beyond their utterly extensive and most of the times really stupid rules. For example, I tried to register at the University by paying 2000 Euros study fees. It failed because my credit card apparently has a limit of something less than that. The registry advised me to wire the money and print a screenshot of the online banking site. Of course I didn’t know a) how I could connect my laptop to the internet, b) how or where to print and c) log on to anything because I wasn’t even a student yet. Luckily, I have some friends at that university, that helped me out so I could finally register… It appears, that the rules are generally made to be ignored. They probably want to have them just in case they need to file a case against you. So as I applied at the university, I had been offered a conditional offer which was to be accepted by some specified date. I couldn’t, however, fulfill the condition and time to discuss that was running out. They told me that the date could generally be amended. I don’t think it’s good to have rules which are known to not be enforced and just needed to have something against you just in case…

The pubs in Dublin are great, although they have to close rather early, like around 02:00 o’clock. Also, you can’t get beer after 22:00 in a shop *sigh*. Yes, Irland might have a drinking problem, but treating everybody like a small child obviously doesn’t help it.

Beerprice dropped from ~20€ to 12€

Beerprice dropped from ~20€ to 12€

Engrish

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

Alright, the following stuff is probably only funny, if you know German and Germans a bit. At least I had to laugh a couple of times, so you might enjoy that as well :)

I received a PDF with some weird English translations of German idioms and I tried to extract the text information from that, so I stumbled upon a page explaining how to do OCR with free software on Linux. I got the best results using Tesseract with the German language set, but I had to refine the result (leaving some typos intact).

  • that’s me sausage = ist mir wurst
  • go where the pepper grows = geh hin wo der pfeffer wächst
  • I think my pig whizzles = ich glaub mein schwein pfeift
  • sorry, my english is under all pig = entschuldige, mein englisch ist unter aller sau
  • now can come what want…i ready = letzt kann kommen was will, ich bin fertig
  • I think I spider = ich glaub ich spinne
  • the devil will i do = den teufel werd ich tun
  • what too much is, is too much = was zu viel ist, ist zu viel
  • my lovely mister singing club = mein lieber herr gesangsverein
  • don’t walk me on the nerves = geh mir nicht auf die nerven
  • come on…jump over your shadow = komm schon…spring ueber deinen schatten
  • you walk me animally on the cookie = du gehts mir tierisch auf den keks
  • there my hairs stand up to the mountain = da stehen mir die haare zu berge
  • tell me nothing from the horse = erzaehl mir keinen vom pferd
  • don’t ask after sunshine = trag nicht nach sonnenschein
  • free like the motto: you me too = frei nach dem Motto, du mich auch
  • I have the nose full = ich hab die nase voll
  • lt’s not good cherry-eating with you = es ist nicht gut kirschen essen mit dir
  • it’s going up like smiths cat = es geht ab wie Schmidts katze
  • to thunderweather once more = zum Donnerwetter noch mal
  • not from bad parents = nicht von schlechten eltern
  • now it goes around the sausage = jetzt geht’s um die wurst
  • there you on the woodway = da bist du auf dem holzweg
  • good thing needs while = gut ding braucht weile
  • holla the woodfairy = holla die waldfee
  • we are sitting all in the same boot = wir sitzen alle im selben boot
  • don’t make you a head = mach dlr keinen kopf
  • there run me the water in the mouth together = da läuft rnlr das wasser im mund zusammen
  • I understand just train-station = ich versteh nur bahnhof
  • I hold it in head not out = ich halt’s im kopf nicht aus
  • shame you what = scham dich was
  • there we have the salad = da haben wir den salat
  • end good, everything good = ende gut, alles gut
  • zip you together = reiß dich zusammen
  • now butter by the fishes = jetzt mal butter bei die flsche
  • he made himself me nothing you nothing out of the dust — er machte sich mir nichts, dir nichts aus dem Staub
  • I belive you have the ass open — ich glaub du hast den Arsch auf!
  • you make me nothing for = du machst mir nichts vor
  • that makes me so fast nobody after = das macht mir so schnell keiner nach
  • I see black for you = ich seh schwarz fur dich
  • so a pig-weather = so ein Sauwetter
  • you are really the latest = du bist wirklich das letzte
  • your are so a fear-rabbit = du bist so ein angsthase
  • everybody dance after your nose = alle tanzen nach deiner nase
  • known home luck alone = trautes Heim, Glueck allein
  • I think I hear not right = Ich denk Ich hör nicht richtig
  • that have you your so thought = das hast du dir so gedacht
  • give not so on = gib nicht so an
  • heaven, ass and thread! = Himmel, Arsch und Zwirn’
  • of again see = auf wiedersehen
  • Human Meier = Mensch Meier
  • now we sit quite beautiful in the ink = jetzt sitzen wir ganz schoen in der Tinte
  • you have not more all cups in the board = du hast nicht mehr alle Tassen im Schrank
  • around heavens will = um Himmels willen
  • you are heavy in order = du bist schwer in Ordnung
  • l wish you what = ich wünsch dir was
  • she had a circleroundbreakdown = sie hatte einen kreislaufzusammenbruch
  • you are a blackdriver = du bist ein schwarzfahrer
  • I know me here out = ich kenn mich hier aus
  • l fell from all clouds = Ich fiel aus allen Wolken
  • that I not laugh = das ich nicht lache
  • no one can reach me the water = niemand kann mir das wasser relchen
  • that’s absolut afterfullpullable = das ist absolut nachvollziehbar
  • give good eight = gib gut acht
  • not the yellow of the egg = nicht das gelbe vom Ei
  • come good home = komm gut heim
  • evererything in the green area = alles im gruenen bererch
  • I die for Blackforrestcherrycake = Ich sterbe fuer Schwarzwalderkirschtorte
  • how too always = wie auch immer
  • I make you ready! = Ich mach dlch fertig!
  • I laugh me death = ich lach mich tot
  • it walks me icecold the back down = es lauft mir eiskalt den rücken runter
  • always with the silence = Immer mit der Ruhe
  • that’s one-wall-free = das Ist einwandfrei
  • I’m foxdevilswild = lch bin fuchsteufelswild
  • here goes the mail off = hier geht die post ab
  • me goes a light on = mir geht ein licht auf
  • it‘s highest railway = es ist hoechste Eisenbahn