the indian wind along the telegraph lines

Deedle Hawk

Squeeps is our pet cinnamon pearl cockatiel. She’s a little treasure. Very affectionate, very gentle and truly a part of our family. But she’s demanding of our attention. Kristine and I are the only “flock” she has ever known, and when we leave her line of sight she gets quite agitated. And noisy. A bit too noisy. It’s not her fault, this is her genetic programming. But something had to give.

This weekend the Rose City Exotic Bird Club had one of their frequent shows at the Hillsboro Fairgrounds. Kristine and I have been to them many times before. We decided that it was time to consider getting another bird to keep Squeeps company and give her other members of the flock to dote upon.

While I had no expectations, I really wanted to find an albino ‘tiel. I think they’re gorgeous. We walked around the show, but the only bird that reacted really strongly to me was a dusky Pionus parrot. US$400. No way.

I briefly entertained the idea of a green-cheeked conure (great birds), but it would be unable to share Squeeps’ cage. When I went to the Bird Club’s booth to ask about conure behavior, I mentioned in passing to one of the women that I was really looking for an albino ‘tiel. Cue kamma.

This woman, a charming and knowledgable lady named Susan Hahn, said she was a ‘tiel breeder, and was liquidating her aviary prior to her move to Panama. She had an albino. Not only that, I got a much better vibe off her than any of the other vendors.

Kristine and I went to her home this evening to meet “Deedle,” her albino ‘tiel. Gorgeous. Simply gorgeous. Bad news? Deedle has a lifelong cage-mate named “Little Hawk” that would have missed her terribly. Good news? “Little Hawk” and Kristine took to each other instantly. Or faster.

Welp, short story long, we’re now a three ‘tiel home. Kristine says she wanted to get Little Hawk because, “she couldn’t bear to break up the cage mates.” Umm … BS. She wanted Hawk because she stole Kristine’s heart in about .0005 nanoseconds.

Both Deedle and Little Hawk are females, so we don’t have to worry about becoming breeders. My first impression is that Deedle is a little more stand-offish, but probably bonds more deeply than Hawk over time. Little Hawk is just a gregarious flirt. And loves Kristine. Hawk is definitely her bird. We’ll see how accurate my assessment is soon enough.

Susan gave us a great price on the birds, and was almost weeping as we left, which makes me feel good about the treatment her birds have received. She obviously loves them very much. And it also makes me feel good that they’re coming to our home, where birds own monkeys instead of vice-versa.

Welcome Deedle and Little Hawk! Without further ado, let proud Daddy show off!

Deedle

Little Hawk

Cooklet!

In this life there is the family into which you are born and the family you later choose. Almost 20 years ago I met one of my chosen brothers, Christopher Cook. Chris is intelligent, funny, caring and deeply committed to his beliefs. All qualities I look for in a friend.

Last year Chris honored me by asking me to serve as best man at his wedding. Being unwilling to meet for the first time the woman he had chosen as his mate at their wedding, Kristine and I visited Chris and Judy at their home in LA. After meeting her, it’s hard to decide who got the better end of the deal. If there is a woman worthy of Chris, it’s Judy.

Yesterday Chris phoned me to inform me that Judy is pregnant with their first child. They have been trying for a child for some time, so this news is more than welcome; it is, indeed, somewhat overdue.

Congratulations to the Cooks. And, seeing that Judy is only a few weeks into her pregnancy, I want to send them some positive kamma. This is a delicate time in a woman’s pregnancy cycle, with nothing being assured. Please join me in sending them heartfelt best wishes and positive energy to ensure this little soul successfully joins the best parents one could hope for.

Spin Doctor

Buddhism has been a religion and philosophy open to change and modification. I believe it’s one of its real strengths. Adaptable, malleable and able to reach people on their own terms. It’s one of the things that made me become a Buddhist. And every once in a while, I am reminded of just how open to modernization Buddhism truly is. And this new prayer wheel technology is just too cool. Amazing. I’ll take ten of them, please.

The Other Kitties

My sister and her family arrive today for a weekend visit. So a housecleaning was in order. This being summer, the cats are, of course, shedding. With a few recent 100F-plus days, I think the process has sped up. A lot. The amount of cat hair I removed from the house would easily qualify as a third cat. The sheer amount was really something. Both impressive, depressing and icky. Bye bye third kitty.

When Multiculturalism Goes Wrong

So I stopped by Wells Fargo today to ask them to remove me from all their mailing lists (I still get “As a selected account holder..” mail, even though I closed all my accounts there more than a month ago). While waiting to be helped and perusing the product brochures, I was shocked by something I saw.

Wells Fargo probably decided to try to accentuate a multicultural corporate image. Nothing wrong with that on face value, but be careful, people.

On a brochure for their “Prime Rewards Program” is a cover photo of three seated Buddha statues. Doesn’t strike you as a big deal? How would you feel about a picture of a crucified Christ being used to sell credit card bonus programs? As an active Theravada Buddhist, my reaction was much the same a Christian’s might be to seeing Jesus used to hawk goods.

Goodness, people. How did this ever get past review, never mind into the bank branches? Simply appalling.

Especially so as the product is distinctly contrary to Buddhist ideals. “Have more stuff! Get more things! Become attached to self and property!” Great.

Go Go Gadget Ginkgo

The Japanese maple that was pollarded to the point of being unrecoverable has finally been terminated, and its successor is taking root in a pot for spring planting.

Last fall Kristine asked a guy that does landscaping at VGTI (where she works) to come by and trim back some shrubs near our windows and a Japanese maple that was beautiful, but had a few branches that overhung the driveway that needed tending. The deal was he would be here at 2pm, and she’d show him around.

She ran some errands, got home just before two to find the Japanese maple gone. No exaggeration. It now stood about six feet from the ground and had no leaf-bearing branches left. Just trunks. Pollarded to death. Argh.

So this week, hearing tree work in the neighborhood, I got the remaining trunk brought down. Saved enough for a Yule log, and the tripartite lower stump for a table base. They’re curing on the patio. Enough of the maple.

The replacement is here; a lovely Ginkgo biloba “Saratoga” clone. It’s about a meter high, and just today I got it into a very large container to encourage rootball development and growth. It is, of course, male, as the female ginkgo produces a smelly, mushy fruit. I love ginkgos, and am thrilled to have a chance to start one off. The Saratoga variant apparently is not as tall as the standard ginkgo, which is perfect for this spot next to the driveway.

We’re working on adding stump-removing chemicals to the exposed stump of the maple. In a few months it should be ready to be covered for the winter, saturated, and the ginkgo set about four feet from the old site come spring. At which point an English walnut I have will go into that big container as an ornamental.

I’m Tom Bombadil.

Damned Lies And Statistics

Years ago I worked for the Group Actuarial unit at CIGNA. Actuaries are the people that determine rates and risk. They’re big players in insurance, and becoming a full actuary instantly makes you an officer of the company at most places. Needless to say, I am not an actuary; I supported their efforts with my systems skills. I got to speaking about actuaries with an IRC chum today. If you want to know what distinguishes actuaries from statisticians in my mind, read on …

Actuaries use statistics. Actuaries need to be good statisticians. But there’s a “real world” aspect to actuarial science. It looks something like this:

ai: I wanted to be an actuary for a while.

ai: I really like statistics a lot.

strex[a] considers what he should do to be “productive” with the rest of the day

ai strex[a]: I strongly recommmend masturbation.

mneptok: and statistics.

mneptok: “4 out of 5 cumshots missed my eye”

mneptok: “7 of 10 were not blanks.”

mneptok: now

mneptok: this is where we separate statistics from actuarial work

mneptok: statistics would say that if 1 of 5 cumshots hit the eye, and 3 of 10 were blanks, that statistically eventually you would get a blank that hit you in the eye.

mneptok: actuaries know better.

Please Read This Carefully

I simply do not understand what is going on with the lack of ability of many adults to comprehend simple, clear information. A posting I made on Craig’s List leads to this rant.

Need a freezer? We’re getting rid of one that we got with the house. Here’s the listing on Craig’s List and in case that disappears, here’s the text:

FREE Freezer and Puzzle!
It’s a stand-up full sized (i.e. “refrigerator sized”) Manitowoc freezer for FREE! You haul it.
We inherited this item when we bought the house. Looks to be in good condition, but the interior needs a cleansing. This being the case, we haven’t plugged it in.
Comes with free puzzle, “Does this freezer work or not?” Won’t you find it in your heart to give this nice unit a home?
this is in or around Beaverton, OR

Best e-mail thus far:

Do you have a picture or can you send me one pls.

Me vs. The Bees

A large and ominous bees’ nest and I went head-to-head Monday. I am glad to report that I am still here, and the bees are not.

Last week Kristine spotted a large and ominous bees’ nest hanging right outside our front door. Like, right outside. We have some jasmine on a trellis beside the front door, and some wasp-y things had made their papery residence there.

If I was well versed in my apiology I could tell you what these things were. But my gut tells me honey bees don’t build paper. These looked like yellowjackets, and had the standard wasp wings. And the nest was about as big as a cantaloupe. Gotta be a couple of hundred bees in there. Two feet from your head as you enter our door. They had to go.

This is one of those occasions where I find myself setting aside my Buddhist inclinations in the pursuit of practicality. Maybe if they had been honey bees I would have made a half attempt to find an interested apiary. Not so for wasps.

I grabbed my 20 year old (and 20 years unused) lacrosse stick and stood in the screen door propping it open with my foot. I slowly introduced the head of the lacrosse stick above the nest. Once it was overhead, I swooped down and scooped as much of that diabolical cantaloupe into the head, quickly flicking downwards and pulling myself and my lacrosse stick inside-the-house-wards. There was a great buzzing. A cloud of angry, now 85% homeless bees swarmed around what remained of their once ominous paperloupe. I watched them for a time, chortling to myself as the odd bee or five bounced impotently off the screen on the door.

I then hurried around to the back door, went around to the front of the house where the garden hose is attached; a dozen feet or so from the enraged swarm. As I loosed the directed jet of nozzled water upon them, I thanked Goddarwin for the opposable thumb as opposed to the venomous sting.

I had to hose and then chemical the site a couple more times before the remaining bees either got the message or were sent to their reward. Quite persistent, poor doomed things.

Note for future incarnations. If you are small and venomous, avoid clustering around the large, intelligent creatures. It freaks them out.

Don’t Look At The Classified Ads!

Best news headline of the week:

Globe caught with pants down: Paper duped into running porn photos. … Clipping from a Boston Globe story accompanied by staged, hard-core porno shots.

I’ll bet Jayson Blair could make up a great story about how this happened.