Waking Up is Hard to Do
July 16, 2004
- 2:00 AM: Set alarm for 10 am (physical switch)
- 2:03 AM: Tape piece of paper over alarm with the text “Why are you ruining my life?”
- 2:07 AM: Go to bed
- 2:15 AM: Fall asleep
- ??? AM: Alarm is switched off, and the piece of paper is retaped over the alarm by a mysterious force. Abducted by aliens? Gremlins? Cruel alter ego?
- 12:17 PM: Wake up with no memory of the alarm being disabled. Paper is still taped over the alarm like the alarm was never turned off (?!?)
- 12:18 PM: Perform thorough exam for signs of alien abduction: scars, incisions, chips in the back of my neck, probes in various orifices. Results, negative
- 12:19 PM: Inspect apartment security fixtures. Deadbolt: in place. Physical chain slider thing: in place. Pole blocking sliding glass door: in place. Grill over fan vent in bathroom: in place. Gremlin trap: empty
Conclusion: I have a cruel alter ego who wakes up when the alarm goes off, disables it for who knows what reason, laughs mischeviously, and then goes back to bed.
Solution: Tie myself up before going to bed.
Problem: How do I get out of bed when I’m back to my calm mild mannered normal self?
