Tangy Sarcasm

1:39 am analog

Spent part of the day getting my Social Security card and passport replaced. Oddly, the wait at the Social Security Administration was only 15 minutes, while our local city hall made us wait two hours to get our passport documentation processed. I never thought I’d see the day that someone could take efficiency lessons from the federal government.

While waiting for our turn to speak with the passport processing clerk, a young couple and their 5 year old son sat across from us. The boy, named Spencer, was precocious, vocal, overly active, and very, very bored. Quite entertaining to watch if you’re not the parent. His father bought him some candy from a vending machine, and within five minutes he was doing everything in his power to get more. Hinting, whining, and standing by the candy machine and making subtle comments like, “Boy, there’s a lot of candy in this machine. I wonder who will eat it all?” Needless to say, I couldn’t resist.

Me: You know, Spencer, it’s a real shame that you’re so lethargic and have so many problems communicating your desires.
Spencer: *blank stare*
Me: Yeah, kids have a hard time with sarcasm.
Spencer: I don’t. I like sarcasm.
Me: Really? What do you like best about sarcasm?
Spencer: I like the way it explodes in your mouth with sour goodness.

Amen, Spencer. You win.

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