My sister Margit sent me this recipe today. In her words, “Hysterical, until you realize there’s no punch line.” Amen, sister.
Title: Easter Story Cookies
Description:
To be made the evening before Easter. And have your bible on hand to read scripture.
Ingredients:
1c. whole pecans
1 tsp. vinegar
3 egg whites
pinch salt
1c. sugar
zipper baggie
wooden spoon
tape
Bible
Directions:
PREHEAT OVEN TO 300! (this is important-don’t wait til you’re half done with the recipe)
Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested He was beaten by the Roman soldiers. (Read John 19:1-3.)
Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. vinegar into mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross he was given vinegar to drink. (Read John 19:28-30.)
Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life. (Read John 10:10-11.)
Sprinkle a little salt into each child’s hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus’ followers, and the bitterness of our own sin. (Read Luke 23:27.)
So far the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1c. sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him. (Read Ps. 34:8 and John 3:16.)
Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purity in God’s eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. (Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3.)
Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus’ body was laid. (Read Matt. 27:57-60)
Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF.
Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus’ tomb was sealed. (Read Matt. 27:65-66.)
GO TO BED!
Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus’ followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. (Read John 16:20 and 22.)
On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! Explain that on the first Easter Jesus’ followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. (Read Matthew 28:1)
Yeah, great fun for the kids. Nothing makes me hungrier for cookies than recreating a killing while making them.
I’d change this, though:
Fold in broken nuts. Explain that Jesus consistently got His nuts kicked by the Pharisees. Kick each child in the groin so they can share the experience.
Whee! Nothing says “Easter Fun!” like scaring the crap out of your kids through baking.