the indian wind along the telegraph lines

Chickenshit Poltroons

This forum thread basically boils down to:

Person A: Hi, I’m a middle-aged easygoing male with a receding hairline and carefree attitude looking for women to bicycle around the country with me

Person B: Uhhh … dude? You sound horny and desperate.

Person A: Screw you you cowardly moron! You can hide behind the anonymity of the Internet, but if I could find you, I would KILL YOU!

Person C: Uhhh … wow. Are you sure this is the best way to attract female cycling companions, Mister Easygoing?

Person A: DAMN YOU YOU CHICKENSHIT POLTROONS! I knew about 9/11 prior to its occurence and did nothing so that people like you would DIE! Do not trifle with me, for I am rage incarnate!

Priceless. My distillation cannot do it justice. Go read.

Thanks, Garamond.

Best. Headline. Ever.

15:57 -!- mneptok changed the topic of #unix to: best. headline. ever. – http://www.defectiveyeti.com/archives/001364.html

If you get it, ask yourself why as you laugh yourself silly.

Hysterical, and odd Y! doesn’t have at least one sick person on staff.

Mean Little Mother Goose Woman

This play-by-play of a car accident is just too good for words. Absolutely hysterical. The page has all the intro you’ll need.

Thanks vinrock.

Dangerous Space

I was reading an article about NASA at The Guardian and realized that NASA’s “safe haven” plan has a flaw.

So what will happen if a hole is found, a space repair proves useless and Collins and her six crewmen are marooned in space? The answer, says Nasa, is its ‘Safe Haven’ plan. The crew will bail out of Discovery, climb into the International Space Station (their mission destination) and wait – amid rapidly dwindling oxygen and water supplies – for a rescue shuttle to arrive from Earth.

Getting off the ground, through the atmosphere, into space, into orbit, into a stable orbit, and docked with the ISS is no mean feat. The difficulties of an ISS mission do not start when you undock.

If the emergency plan at 50 miles per second is, “Navigate to safety,” count me out.

And can’t we send robots until we have a better means of propulsion? As our technology stands we can’t get out of the solar system. What are we going to do on Mars? Terraform? Let the machines go to space at a fraction of the price and let’s focus on Spaceship Earth and better space travel tech.

Higher Calling

In his Iraq speech tonight President Bush said that there is no higher calling than a career in the military.

You know, I’m going to go out on a limb and posit that being a priest, monk, or nun is a higher calling than a professional killer. But hey, that’s me. I’m kooky.

Yeah, this Bush guy takes his Christian faith really seriously.

Nicotine Free

I have been off nicotine for 83 hours, and am now nicotine-free. The residual drug stored in my body has been passed through sweat or urine. I’m now dealing with the very last stages of physical addiction. In another 24-48 hours it will all be psychological addiction that I’m overcoming.

It hasn’t been easy, but then, it hasn’t been too tough. I wasn’t trying to quit, I was quitting. Failure was not only not an option, it was impossible. I will not smoke again. I have had my last puff of smoke. Period. I can sit and think, “Man, I would sure love a smoke right now,” but the only possible answer is, “Too bad I quit.”

Have made some interesting discoveries during all this:

• Cold turkey is the only method that works long-term. Here’s why. And more.
• Drink lots of lemonade. Lots of it. The sugar helps to minimize the blood-sugar loss caused by nicotine withdrawal, and the acidic juice helps purge the residual nicotine stores faster,
• When you quit, be ready to quit and do it. No “trying.” No half-assed attempts. Either be ready to do it and do it, or don’t waste your time.
• Get rid of all tobacco. I threw any left-over tobacco away on Thursday night. If I wanted a cigarette, I was going to have to go buy more. Not “just one smoke.”
• No gum. No patches. No lozenges. No Zyban. None of it. If you’re a nicotine addict, stop using nicotine.
• Tell a lot of people you’re quitting. If you fail, you look like an ass. This helped me a lot. I announced it here. There was no way I’m coming back here and saying, “Well, I failed.”
• One day at a time.
• Smoking isn’t a habit. It’s a drug addiction. People that smoke or used to smoke (like me) are drug addicts. Killing themselves for drugs. Think of it this way, it gets a whole lot easier to quit.

There’s a lot more to it, and I have a ways to go. But I’ve been off smokes for 3.5 days and am now drug-free. It feels great. I’m happy.

If you’re thinking of quitting, make sure you really, really are going to do it. If you know for sure that you will, and aren’t going to “just try,” and are willing to go cold turkey, I’m happy to provide you with support.

Snuffed Out

As of today (my 40th birthday) I am officially a non-active smoker.

I made a promise to myself years ago that I would not smoke past the age of 40. It’s a promise I fully intend to keep, as it was a wise thing to which to commit.

I just stood outside on the patio and had my last hand-rolled Bali Shag cigarette. I remembered, out loud, all the places I have lived and smoked and all the people that have been smoking buddies over the years. Like reciting the names of the fallen before pushing the casket overboard.

It’s unwise for anyone who has smoked to call themselves a “non-smoker” when they quit. It’s a lie. Given half a chance, they’ll go back. I’m no exception. I’m a “non-active smoker,” not a non-smoker. I have the addiction, but I’m riding it and it’s not riding me.

Send me some strength. I’m going to need it.

And take a moment today to listen to Desiree by Neil Diamond and Ode To Billy Joe by Bobby Gentry.

Oh, and of course, Happy Birthday by Altered Images.

If they were me and I was you, would you have liked a present too?

Revenge Of The Sith

Every site on the web is now reviewing Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith. I saw it last night at 12:40am with Bruce Q. As I have nothing huge to add to the deluge of reviews, I’ll keep this simple.

No spoilers follow.

• Better than Episodes I, II or VI. Not better than Episodes IV or V.
• George Lucas can direct, but an untrained baboon could write better dialog.
• My friend Mark’s advice to me was spot on. “Try to sleep through the love scenes.”
• Almost as dark as Empire Strikes Back. Almost as good, too. Coincidence?
• General Grievous is very cool. His name is not. Neither are “Darth Sidious” or “Darth Vader” or any other contrived names. Come on. And “Commander Cody?” What the FUNTH? I heard that name and wondered when the Lost Planet Airmen would show up.
• Ian McDiarmid, thank you for the great acting. Ewan McGregor, you do a pretty good job considering the material you’re handed. Hayden Christensen, I … never mind.
• ILM get better and better. Amazing SFX.
• Yoda kicks ass. My favorite Star Wars universe character. Kinda like a small, green Jet Li crossed with Buddha and given funny ears.

In all, an enjoyable movie. Better than its predecessors in many ways, worse in some others. But watching Anakin succumb to the Dark Side is a lovely denoument to a 28 year ride I began at age 12. That summer of ’77 I will always remember as my Star Wars summer. I was at just the right age to be wholly captivated by it. It became a parallel universe for me, as it did to many my age. And looking around the theater last night, I realized that fully 90% of the patrons were not even alive in 1977. A testament to the enduring appeal of Lucas’ vision.

And, oddly, in 1977 we all came away from A New Hope hating Darth Vader. He was a great and eminently loathesome villian. But, it now turns out that the Star Wars saga is entirely about Vader. His rise, his fall, his redemption. The character we all saw as antagonist in the first movie (which he was) turns out to be the protagonist when viewed in the context of the whole. Interesting.

Venerable Punnaji’s iBook

Bhante Punnaji, my first teacher of Buddhism, was in town last week to give a series of dhamma talks at the Oregon Buddhist Vihara. I had planned to attend at least one if not all three, but fate intervened.

Upon learning that I’m a sysadmin by trade, Punnaji asked if I could take a look at his laptop, which was malfunctioning. Sure enough, the screen would come on, then go off, then come back on, then off, then back .. you get the idea.

As the laptop had a VGA output for an external monitor, I brought Bhante and said laptop to my home, hooked up a spare monitor, and everything worked splendidly. The problem was definitely with the internal screen. Looking at the screen from an angle I could make out an image being displayed, but not backlit. Bad inverter board. Backlighting is sporadic. Told Punnaji he would have to get a new inverter board, and that would have to wait until he was someplace long enough to wait for delivery to a repair shop and turnaround.

Meanwhile he had caught sight of woo’s 12″ G3 iBook. He was impressed with it, and certainly I was enthusiastic about getting him off Windows (for obvious reasons). He took the plunge, and now Bhante Punnaji is the proud owner of a 14″ G4 933Mhz iBook. He got it (lightly) used. It’s cosmetically perfect. He’s happy.

However, that meant that the last four days of last week were a whirlwind. Pick up iBook. Install OS and apps. Configure everything. Take that to the vihara and train him over the course of a few nights. Reformat the drive in the old laptop so his personal data isn’t on it. Et cetera, et cetera. Long, long days.

As an added “bonus,” Bhante picked up a new cell phone that was on the iSync-approved list from Apple. A Motorola v550 from Cingular. He wanted an easy way to get phone numbers into the phone, and “Address Book + iSync + Bluetooth = a great solution.” Trouble is, Motorola changed the device ID string when they fab’ed the phone for Cingular, and iSync now does not recognize the phone as valid. Grrrr. Motorola, send your changes downstream, please. This is causing consumer frustration.

But in all a fun week, though exhausting. A good kind of tired, however, as putting the tools to write and convey his wisdom into the hands of the man that is my Yoda is probably the best work I have done all year.

Wish I had heard the dhamma talks, though. Ah well, I think I have convinced him to spend the 2006 rains retreat in Portland. I’ll hope for that.

Tree-Drilling Lazarus

It seems the 85 year old reports of the extinction of the ivory-billed woodpecker were slightly exaggerated.

Fantastic. Let’s not blow it this time, fellow monkeys.