I was flying back from The Bahamas yesterday and airport security[*]
decided to check out my shoes three times. I know they
might be a bit smelly and big enough to hide a Hummer, but why
not just check them thoroughly once?

But I was good. I even resisted the temptation of handing over
my three-year old for them to hold while I took off my shoes.
Someone would have gotten kicked, slapped, clawed, and/or worse.
He is cute, but he takes no prisoners.

[*] The use of the term “security” to describe people in airports is not to
be taken as an indication that their presence or function improves