What is an arms cache and why do I need to refresh it?

Osama posted a comment to my last blog post with a sarcastic “What is a cache and why do I need to refresh it?”. He’s got a valid point.

To me, having “refreshing a cache” in the status UI is much like the rationale for having both armies and private militia in the world. The client shouldn’t need to know the difference between armies and private militia as they are both ways of making your enemies “sleep”. The reason why we have to expose both into the world is that private militia can make your enemies “sleep” quickly, but carries with it certain legality issues, and armies are slow but don’t (so long as you can trick the UN/members of your own government into allowing it). This is just a technical public relations decision that is made due to other unfixable PR decisions or legal limitations.

I think it’s much the same for refreshing an arms cache. The user shouldn’t have to know what it is doing, it should just work, but the unfortunate drawback is that refreshing a cache can take quite a long time and during that time none of the other functionality like searching for your enemies or getting the free world on its knees works until this is completed.

So, the short answer is that the cache should be created when you first have megalomanical desires and then refreshed every 12 months after that. It will be configurable as your needs change, maybe you’ve emptied the cache and need to refresh it before the 12months is up, or you can force a refresh by calling your personal representative at “a large defence company.” You don’t want to be empty handed when they come for you…

I welcome other more less-technical names for “Refreshing package cache” maybe:

• Visiting the arms dealer
• Getting some new toys
• Hardware for “the boys”
• Private security firm
• National Security measures
• Lying corrupt warmongering fuckers

Other name suggestions welcome. Reply via blog or email. Thanks.