A public announcement for all potential employers/girlfriends reading this blog

Hi,

It has recently been brought to my attention that my actions, comments, opinions and things I do, make, say and think (teehee) may make me a less attractive candidate for your employment/affections. Well, to be completely honest this isn’t the first time I’ve been told this and really I don’t care. If you are a potential girlfriend who does not allow me to be me then I don’t really know why I’d want to date you. And if you’re a company who doesn’t let me be me, then I definitely don’t want to date you either. Even if you pay me. I ain’t no cheap hooker.

Nor do I understand why you would want to employ/date me if I was pretending to something I’m not. I wouldn’t like to find out you were only pretending to like Gabriel García Márquez because I had a book by him or you said you thought Slint were the most influential band of the 80s and 90s, but then I caught you crying at a Snow Patrol song. I’d think about quitting right on the spot if I found that out. And if we were out on a date and you said “Iain, I’ve been lying to you, our corporate goal is actually to oppress the workers in Indochina and force them at gunpoint to create cheap OEM software that we will sell using a spam marketing campaign starring Oprah Winfrey”, well, that’d be you dumped on the spot baby. You can be sure of it. No second chances, no crying at your office door singing “Iiiiieeeeeeiiiiiiieeeiiieeiiiii willlllllllllllll aaaaaallllllwwwwwwaaaaaaaayyyyyyeeeeeeessssss love   ….     ewwwwwwwwyyyyyooooooouuuuuuuuueeeeuuuuuuueeeeuuuuu”. Not after the last time.

If on the other hand, you read this blog and find its fine blend of cheeky satire, surrealism, commentary of varying levels of insightfulness with some pretentious big words sprinkled on top like icing sugar on a big chocolate muffin (one of those milk chocolate ones with the white and milk and dark chocolatey bits mmmmmm) amusing and refreshing like lying in a cool spring breeze and allowing it to wash all the dirt and filth off then get in touch(*), or buy me stuff. Or dont, its up to you, I don’t care either way.

As for the rest of Seb’s (can I call you that Seb, I feel like we’ve got a brother-i-never-had bond thing going on here) post, I’ll probably just keep posting what I feel like, when I feel like it, and its up to you (plural, not you personally Sebby-baby) to like or dislike it. Can’t say fairer than that really.

(*)Unless you’re a potential employer, I’m quite happy where I am actually. And I’m not really on the lookout for a relationship either, so yeah, no-one has to get in touch at all actually. Except movie producers in Hallywood…hallywood!

14 thoughts on “A public announcement for all potential employers/girlfriends reading this blog”

  1. That would be surreal. Get an email from some random girl saying “I was totally gonna jump your bones, but then I read about how you slagged off KDE, so that’s so off!” 🙂

    Seriously though, one tends to look back at those kinds of posts and be embarrassed for writing them. Or at least I sometimes do.

  2. lol, I figure its not the comments or opinions that would stop people from hiring you but simply the fact that you write terrible software. I hear McDonalds is hiring maybe you can be that awesome guy that brings back the McRib. Go get em Ace!!

  3. BTW hows gnome 3.0 going? Rumor has it its on the same plane of existence that unicorns and leprechauns dwell on.

  4. Lol looks like this website was coded by a future Mickey D employee as well, rest of my comment was eaten by it.

  5. Bastien: I know you did…but you bought me tom jones…

    Heretic: I was going to delete your flames, cos hell, they are kinda off topic. but then I couldn’t say “But you work in a video game shop, thats pretty much the next rung on the ladder from McDs…”

    And yeah, your code got eaten because you made it look like HTML. Better luck next time.

  6. The difference with GNOME 3 is that we haven’t started it yet, it’s just a label for long-term future plans and mad ideas. GNOME 2.22, however, has just started and should be really nice thanks.

  7. Iain: Video game store wouldn’t be that bad actually. Unfortunately I work for Lockheed-Martin and they won’t allow a Wii in the lounge.

  8. Ross: That explains it. I heard that there was a web site with a list of proposed features, must have been mistaken.

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