Posts Tagged ‘fun’

Ireland vs. France

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

Heh, the following conversation might not have happened (unless the Consulat Général De France is located in “Joker Street”, but anyway, it’s hillarious. Either read the quotes or find the (largish) Image:

Ireland-vs.-France

20 October 2009

Dear Sir,

I am writing to you on behalf of the French President, Monsieur Nicolas Sarkozy. Following the recent announcement of the World Cup play-off match between our two countries, the President has requested that you provide a VIP box for the game as he is very keen to attend.

Yours faithfully,
Jacques du Maurier
Directeur
Consulat Général de France
12-24 Rue des Blaguer
74139 Paris
France

23.10.09

Dear Mr. Du Maurier,

Thank-you for your recent letter concerning box arrangements at Croke Park. We are delighted that President Sarkozy wishes to attend and look forward to welcoming him. We would just like some clarification regarding the VIP box as there are a number of options available. Do you have any preferences re: size?

Yours faithfully,
Bill O’Leary
Liaison officer
Department of Diplomatic Affairs
28 St. Stephens Green South
Dublin 2
Ireland

26.10.09

Dear Mr. O’Leary,

Thank-you for your prompt response. We were not aware that the boxes at the stadium came in different sizes. Do the dimensions have any bearing on one’s enjoyment of the game?

Yours faithfully,
Jacques du Maurier

29.10.09

Dear Mr. Du Maurier,

The overall match experience will certainly be influenced by the President’s choice of box. The first box is 30cm high and will allow the President to see most of the Croke Park pitch, though he may not be quite able to see play in the North-West quadrant. The second box is 60cm, but whilst this would afford the President a panoramic view of the pitch, it will also make him visible to Press photographers which may compromise his privacy.

Yours faithfully,
Bill O’Leary

2 Novembre 2009

Dear Mr. O’Leary,

There appears to have been some confusion. When we requested a “VIP box” for our President, we were not looking for a box for him to stand on. Whilst we expect the foreign press to make humorous remarks about the President’s diminutive stature, we do not expect this from an official representative of the Irish government department.

Yours faithfully,
Jacques du Maurier

5.11.09

Please accept our apologies and those of the Executive Hospitality Committee at Croke Park. There was certainly no intentional attempt at humour on our part and we hope that you will accept this as a genuine misunderstanding. Naturally, we will make a VIP ‘Executive’ box available to the President, with full security and hospitality arrangements in place. The boxes will then be placed discreetly inside.

Yours faithfully,
Bill O’Leary

9 Novembre 2009

Sir,

In light of the lack of respect we feel your office has displayed in response to an official request from a visiting Head of State, the President has decided to watch the match in Paris instead. Rest assured that we will be lodging a formal complaint regarding your conduct at the highest levels.

Jacques du Maurier

12.11.09

Fair enough. We look forward to seeing the boys in green give your lot a good hammering.

Bill

jOEpardy at Easterhegg09

Friday, October 30th, 2009

I held a jOEpardy session at Easterhegg09! I guess, you know what a Jeopardy is, if not, have a look at the Wikipedia :-P

The people were entertained and hopefully learned something ;-) Sadly, the hardware didn’t really work :( The buzzer were somewhat broken so that we actually had to try to see (with our eyes) who pushed the button first. Funnily enough, I *did* test the setup extensively just 10 minutes before the gig! Very weird.

The Questions can be found here: Round 1, Round 2, Round 3, Round 4. But it doesn’t make much sense without the jOEpardy software, unless you parse the XML on your own.

The software is a Java Application which was initially written by TriPhoenix! I haven’t written Java for a long time and I have to admit, that writing Java with Eclipse is actually fun! Eclipse is so smart and tightly integrated in the build process that it’s quite easy to write, build and debug. I wish there was such a good IDE for C or Python. Sadly, I think that Java Code is bloated although <2.500 LoC for a jOEpardy is not too bad I’d say :-)

I actually thought I could release the jOEpardy code by now (and thus waited with this post…), but I still have to resolve copyright questions.

Engrish

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

Alright, the following stuff is probably only funny, if you know German and Germans a bit. At least I had to laugh a couple of times, so you might enjoy that as well :)

I received a PDF with some weird English translations of German idioms and I tried to extract the text information from that, so I stumbled upon a page explaining how to do OCR with free software on Linux. I got the best results using Tesseract with the German language set, but I had to refine the result (leaving some typos intact).

  • that’s me sausage = ist mir wurst
  • go where the pepper grows = geh hin wo der pfeffer wächst
  • I think my pig whizzles = ich glaub mein schwein pfeift
  • sorry, my english is under all pig = entschuldige, mein englisch ist unter aller sau
  • now can come what want…i ready = letzt kann kommen was will, ich bin fertig
  • I think I spider = ich glaub ich spinne
  • the devil will i do = den teufel werd ich tun
  • what too much is, is too much = was zu viel ist, ist zu viel
  • my lovely mister singing club = mein lieber herr gesangsverein
  • don’t walk me on the nerves = geh mir nicht auf die nerven
  • come on…jump over your shadow = komm schon…spring ueber deinen schatten
  • you walk me animally on the cookie = du gehts mir tierisch auf den keks
  • there my hairs stand up to the mountain = da stehen mir die haare zu berge
  • tell me nothing from the horse = erzaehl mir keinen vom pferd
  • don’t ask after sunshine = trag nicht nach sonnenschein
  • free like the motto: you me too = frei nach dem Motto, du mich auch
  • I have the nose full = ich hab die nase voll
  • lt’s not good cherry-eating with you = es ist nicht gut kirschen essen mit dir
  • it’s going up like smiths cat = es geht ab wie Schmidts katze
  • to thunderweather once more = zum Donnerwetter noch mal
  • not from bad parents = nicht von schlechten eltern
  • now it goes around the sausage = jetzt geht’s um die wurst
  • there you on the woodway = da bist du auf dem holzweg
  • good thing needs while = gut ding braucht weile
  • holla the woodfairy = holla die waldfee
  • we are sitting all in the same boot = wir sitzen alle im selben boot
  • don’t make you a head = mach dlr keinen kopf
  • there run me the water in the mouth together = da läuft rnlr das wasser im mund zusammen
  • I understand just train-station = ich versteh nur bahnhof
  • I hold it in head not out = ich halt’s im kopf nicht aus
  • shame you what = scham dich was
  • there we have the salad = da haben wir den salat
  • end good, everything good = ende gut, alles gut
  • zip you together = reiß dich zusammen
  • now butter by the fishes = jetzt mal butter bei die flsche
  • he made himself me nothing you nothing out of the dust — er machte sich mir nichts, dir nichts aus dem Staub
  • I belive you have the ass open — ich glaub du hast den Arsch auf!
  • you make me nothing for = du machst mir nichts vor
  • that makes me so fast nobody after = das macht mir so schnell keiner nach
  • I see black for you = ich seh schwarz fur dich
  • so a pig-weather = so ein Sauwetter
  • you are really the latest = du bist wirklich das letzte
  • your are so a fear-rabbit = du bist so ein angsthase
  • everybody dance after your nose = alle tanzen nach deiner nase
  • known home luck alone = trautes Heim, Glueck allein
  • I think I hear not right = Ich denk Ich hör nicht richtig
  • that have you your so thought = das hast du dir so gedacht
  • give not so on = gib nicht so an
  • heaven, ass and thread! = Himmel, Arsch und Zwirn’
  • of again see = auf wiedersehen
  • Human Meier = Mensch Meier
  • now we sit quite beautiful in the ink = jetzt sitzen wir ganz schoen in der Tinte
  • you have not more all cups in the board = du hast nicht mehr alle Tassen im Schrank
  • around heavens will = um Himmels willen
  • you are heavy in order = du bist schwer in Ordnung
  • l wish you what = ich wünsch dir was
  • she had a circleroundbreakdown = sie hatte einen kreislaufzusammenbruch
  • you are a blackdriver = du bist ein schwarzfahrer
  • I know me here out = ich kenn mich hier aus
  • l fell from all clouds = Ich fiel aus allen Wolken
  • that I not laugh = das ich nicht lache
  • no one can reach me the water = niemand kann mir das wasser relchen
  • that’s absolut afterfullpullable = das ist absolut nachvollziehbar
  • give good eight = gib gut acht
  • not the yellow of the egg = nicht das gelbe vom Ei
  • come good home = komm gut heim
  • evererything in the green area = alles im gruenen bererch
  • I die for Blackforrestcherrycake = Ich sterbe fuer Schwarzwalderkirschtorte
  • how too always = wie auch immer
  • I make you ready! = Ich mach dlch fertig!
  • I laugh me death = ich lach mich tot
  • it walks me icecold the back down = es lauft mir eiskalt den rücken runter
  • always with the silence = Immer mit der Ruhe
  • that’s one-wall-free = das Ist einwandfrei
  • I’m foxdevilswild = lch bin fuchsteufelswild
  • here goes the mail off = hier geht die post ab
  • me goes a light on = mir geht ein licht auf
  • it‘s highest railway = es ist hoechste Eisenbahn